By Ghulam Murtaza (GM)
Every personality has the propensity to vulnerability. The water handed are more exposed to such vulnerabilities. These are born for nurturing, caring, supporting and entertaining roles. These social butterflies try to please and take care of everyone. Smoldering from both ends- external and internally, they often don’t give any reflection from their face. A decade ago, the emotional vulnerability was considered to be a sign of weakness but know many other dimensions have been surfaced. Robert Greene claims in the preamble of his popular book “the 48 laws of power,” any man who tries to be good at all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good”. He further says, ” underneath its glittering surface a cauldron of dark emotions-greed, envy, lust, hatred -boiled and simmered”. Everyone is masked with many colorful layers which could easily deceive these compassionates. What emotional vulnerability is, how can it be identified and managed and converted into positivity? Let’s us see through an alternative method. Never underestimate this method as less beneficial.
The water-shaped hands have oblong palms and fingers are long, almost equal to palmer length. The loops on fingers-tips also represent the water element. On the five-factor model of personality dimensions, they fall on agreeableness. Whereas, on Myers and Brigs they are feelers/perceivers A full palm with lines and soft skin also enhances the vulnerability. Too short little finger also gives a synergistic effect to it. The water people are most sensitive and at the same time most adjustable. You may handle them with love and care very easily until they feel being imposed upon. Water takes the shape of its container. Disagreeable is the opposite pole that can generate the tsunami. With positive feedback, you will always find them willing and dedicated.
Dianne Grande, PhD defines Emotional vulnerability as the most often felt as anxiety about being rejected, shamed, or judged as inadequate. It has further been defined by Brene Brown as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
Emotional vulnerability creates clouds in our everyday’s life. Sometimes, if it’s hoodwinked over a long time assuming a part of the personality, it becomes chronic. It might cause imbalanced serotonin secretion provoking depression, anxiety and the precarious state of mind. The fear to lose and disapproval are its by-products.
Brene Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity”. The great sources of the human intellect, creative talent and appreciation activate while we are vulnerable. These sources otherwise remain inactive. So, they open up new venues for us which are unknown to us otherwise. It’s also the divine methodology to redirect us into other useful directions. Similar is the condition regarding emotional challenges, it makes us more powerful to manage our emotional turmoil generated in us at times.- the core is called ” experience”. People wrote history when they were encountered with these challenges; why not you and me? Unfortunately, we spend this time by profaning our fate and harboring retaliation. The vengeance more complicates yourself for sure. The best revenge is to ignore and prove yourself much better than
Gender studies differentiate vulnerability for men and women. The social backgrounds are also another determinant. Women are comparatively more emotionally vulnerable and the sources of their pains are mainly based upon relations. Men are more exposed to the external world. We will keep ourselves to only emotional vulnerability skills and how to assuage it internally and externally.
Unfortunately, we are not enough socially responsible to make the others invulnerable. Our near and dear ones deserve the best from us. By adopting the following strategies, we may perform the best of our social and ethical obligations:
1) Always give positive feedback and appreciation to the people around. It works not only as a high level of energy tonic but also boosts loyalty, motivation, confidence, and respect for you. It’s a win-win situation.
2) Give assurance and confidence to them and take them on board for important decisions.
3) People’s innate demand is cohesiveness and conflict-free environment, gaps cultivate the seeds of vulnerability and conflicts.
4) The water handed believe in subtle detailing in life. Their romantic needs are not less important than food.
Following are the defensive strategies you can adopt to overcome the emotional vulnerabilities.
1) The world is like this and will continue to ripple. Give some allowance to others and try to adjust with the oddities. It’s we to adjust not the world. Tune-up safety-valve to enhance your threshold level.
2) Be sure grievances are not perceived. Many times the next person even does not aware of the situation we are suffering from.
3) 99% of unknown fears never take place. Dale Carnegie has substantiated with many stories in his book to prove this law.
4) Find out potential communication barriers likely to damaging intimacy. It’s especially a Red-Flag if your little is too short and heart lines sending down-ward branches.
5) We may also close off our pain by discussing directly with the concerned person or with around us. Don’t hesitate to be out of the shell, often, only ventilation does what is needful.
6) Strike-down over-loaded expectations from others. A lightweight person with less emotional baggage is always comfortable. Also, analyze the root cause of grievances in an honest and empathetic way. The inventory of oddities may be depreciated surprisingly. Don’t even hesitate to cry ,tears have strong effects on cleansing stubborn scars.
7) Never be impulsive and reactive. The policy of buying time did a lot during the twilight of world war2 when in-house issues of the German army were at the pinnacle.
8) Be positive with a growth mindset. Try to repair before cutting off.
9) Introspect yourself before giving them tangible shape to issues.
10) Demarcate and set your boundaries and observe them. Don’t transgress them unless you have the passport – a passport from rationality. Clearly know when and whom to help the others. Learn to say no when and where necessary. Serve the others without being servitude.
11) Thoroughly understood issue is a half solution per see. Raise your fire-walls, develop your internal locus of control and get your control in your hands.
12) Accepting the unavoidable is a golden step to reclaim your luck. Just close the doors of past tightly and look ahead, the game is still not over.